Monday, July 22, 2013

Currently 07/22/13

Holding: An exhausted little baby. Rory had his first round of vaccinations today and he has since been a little under the weather. Which means some serious snuggle time is in order.

Sipping: My own little coffee creation, caramel flavored Folgers' with dark chocolate almond milk and a spoonful of my homemade hot fudge sauce. Yummy :)

Watching: Raising Hope on Netflix. Zach and I are into the second season and we find it to be a hilarious show!

Munching: on my favorite new lunch. I take a flour tortilla, spread it with some soft goat cheese, sprinkle on some dried dill, add some sliced cucumber and avacado. Presto! Delicious wrap.

Listening; to classical music on Pandora.

Wishing: I was still on vacation, it went by way to fast and I miss the beach :)

Friday, July 12, 2013

A Working Mom

Even before Rory was born I began struggling with the decision regarding whether I would return to work or become a stay at home mom. It is quite possibly the hardest decision I will ever have to make. On the one hand, I absolutely love being a nurse. There is something about working in the medical field that thrills me. Utilizing the knowledge I gained over my four years in college while at the same time learning more and expanding my skill set gives me a sense of satisfaction. And there is nothing more gratifying then being able to make a difference with the work that you do. Being a nurse has given me a sense of purpose, feeling as if I am doing something worthwhile. During the beginning of my nursing career I had lofty aspirations. My plan was to spend a year or two working med/surg then find a position in a Level 1 Trauma ER, work there for several years then go back to school to become a Nurse Practitioner. After working as a CNP for many years I would finish off my career teaching at my alma mater.

Now I am not so sure.

I absolutely love being a mother. Waking up to Rory's smiling face every morning fills my heart with delight. My life has taken on a new purpose, one that involves sleepless nights and dirty diapers.  There is nothing like the feeling of having a child be completely dependent on you for all of their needs. It is something that I know, without a doubt, I was meant to do. The thought of leaving him in the care of someone else makes me so sad. What milestones and precious moments will I miss while I am at work? Thinking about this last night almost brought me to tears. And yet there is that small voice in the back of my mind telling me that I am a business professional and to throw away all of my hard earned talents is a waste. It tells me that I need to go back to work to help support our family and that to stay at home is selfish. My fear is that with either decision I will have regrets.

 I have the greatest respect for both working mothers and stay-at-home moms, I just don't know which one I am yet. Last night I applied for a position at the hospital on post. Part of me hopes that I get called in for an interview. Part of me hopes that I hear nothing. All I can do right now is pray that the right doors are opened and that God reveals his plans for me. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I struggle with trusting in God's design. As a Type A, controlling person I want things to go exactly as I plan.  Over the past few years the Lord has been teaching me to let go of this control. To put my trust completely in Him. That is what I must do now. Both my future and the future of our family are in His hands. So I pray and hope that I will find peace in whatever He has in store for me.

And as I look at Rory, I know that I will always be his mom, no matter what. And that is the greatest purpose of all.

Thursday, July 11, 2013


Rory has many different faces and emotions for such a little guy.  Some are serious but most are just hysterical! Here are some of Rory's best mugshots.

The Gangsta. Yes, this is my 2 day old son casually throwing a gang sign. 

 The "I just pooped in my freshly changed diaper" face.

The GQ Model.  Watch out Ladies.

 The Penguin

The Punk

The Drunkard.  Shouldn't have had that last shot of milk.

And finally...

Pure Joy

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

3 Months

How time flies. It feels like yesterday I was waiting impatiently for a baby to arrive and now he's been a part of our lives for 3 months.  Words can't describe what it feels like to be a mother.  You expect a drastic transformation as in "Bam! Baby is here and now my whole world is turned upside down". It turns out the change is so natural, something you were meant to do all along. Even the sleepless nights have purpose and even though you are exhausted it is a good exhaustion. Everything seems to have a bright side now and there are less cloudy days. Each second matters and no moment is wasted.

Rory is a wonderful little baby. I always thought I would want to have a girl as my firstborn but now I am so glad to have a boy. It is so lovely to watch Zachary become more enamored with him every day. My heart melts when he leans down to kiss him on the forehead and I love to see the pride in his eyes when he looks at his son.

It is amazing how much Rory has grown in such a short time span. Part of me is sad that the changes happen so quickly and some days I find myself wishing that he could stay like this just a little bit longer.  He is developing his own personality, likes and dislikes. The other day he laughed for the first time and it was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. Every day brings new milestones and I wish I could capture them all in record to return to again and again.

Though he has not been here long I cannot imagine life without him. Rory is truly my sunshine and I am overjoyed to be his mommy.



June and July