Monday, July 22, 2013

Currently 07/22/13

Holding: An exhausted little baby. Rory had his first round of vaccinations today and he has since been a little under the weather. Which means some serious snuggle time is in order.

Sipping: My own little coffee creation, caramel flavored Folgers' with dark chocolate almond milk and a spoonful of my homemade hot fudge sauce. Yummy :)

Watching: Raising Hope on Netflix. Zach and I are into the second season and we find it to be a hilarious show!

Munching: on my favorite new lunch. I take a flour tortilla, spread it with some soft goat cheese, sprinkle on some dried dill, add some sliced cucumber and avacado. Presto! Delicious wrap.

Listening; to classical music on Pandora.

Wishing: I was still on vacation, it went by way to fast and I miss the beach :)

Friday, July 12, 2013

A Working Mom

Even before Rory was born I began struggling with the decision regarding whether I would return to work or become a stay at home mom. It is quite possibly the hardest decision I will ever have to make. On the one hand, I absolutely love being a nurse. There is something about working in the medical field that thrills me. Utilizing the knowledge I gained over my four years in college while at the same time learning more and expanding my skill set gives me a sense of satisfaction. And there is nothing more gratifying then being able to make a difference with the work that you do. Being a nurse has given me a sense of purpose, feeling as if I am doing something worthwhile. During the beginning of my nursing career I had lofty aspirations. My plan was to spend a year or two working med/surg then find a position in a Level 1 Trauma ER, work there for several years then go back to school to become a Nurse Practitioner. After working as a CNP for many years I would finish off my career teaching at my alma mater.

Now I am not so sure.

I absolutely love being a mother. Waking up to Rory's smiling face every morning fills my heart with delight. My life has taken on a new purpose, one that involves sleepless nights and dirty diapers.  There is nothing like the feeling of having a child be completely dependent on you for all of their needs. It is something that I know, without a doubt, I was meant to do. The thought of leaving him in the care of someone else makes me so sad. What milestones and precious moments will I miss while I am at work? Thinking about this last night almost brought me to tears. And yet there is that small voice in the back of my mind telling me that I am a business professional and to throw away all of my hard earned talents is a waste. It tells me that I need to go back to work to help support our family and that to stay at home is selfish. My fear is that with either decision I will have regrets.

 I have the greatest respect for both working mothers and stay-at-home moms, I just don't know which one I am yet. Last night I applied for a position at the hospital on post. Part of me hopes that I get called in for an interview. Part of me hopes that I hear nothing. All I can do right now is pray that the right doors are opened and that God reveals his plans for me. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I struggle with trusting in God's design. As a Type A, controlling person I want things to go exactly as I plan.  Over the past few years the Lord has been teaching me to let go of this control. To put my trust completely in Him. That is what I must do now. Both my future and the future of our family are in His hands. So I pray and hope that I will find peace in whatever He has in store for me.

And as I look at Rory, I know that I will always be his mom, no matter what. And that is the greatest purpose of all.

Thursday, July 11, 2013


Rory has many different faces and emotions for such a little guy.  Some are serious but most are just hysterical! Here are some of Rory's best mugshots.

The Gangsta. Yes, this is my 2 day old son casually throwing a gang sign. 

 The "I just pooped in my freshly changed diaper" face.

The GQ Model.  Watch out Ladies.

 The Penguin

The Punk

The Drunkard.  Shouldn't have had that last shot of milk.

And finally...

Pure Joy

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

3 Months

How time flies. It feels like yesterday I was waiting impatiently for a baby to arrive and now he's been a part of our lives for 3 months.  Words can't describe what it feels like to be a mother.  You expect a drastic transformation as in "Bam! Baby is here and now my whole world is turned upside down". It turns out the change is so natural, something you were meant to do all along. Even the sleepless nights have purpose and even though you are exhausted it is a good exhaustion. Everything seems to have a bright side now and there are less cloudy days. Each second matters and no moment is wasted.

Rory is a wonderful little baby. I always thought I would want to have a girl as my firstborn but now I am so glad to have a boy. It is so lovely to watch Zachary become more enamored with him every day. My heart melts when he leans down to kiss him on the forehead and I love to see the pride in his eyes when he looks at his son.

It is amazing how much Rory has grown in such a short time span. Part of me is sad that the changes happen so quickly and some days I find myself wishing that he could stay like this just a little bit longer.  He is developing his own personality, likes and dislikes. The other day he laughed for the first time and it was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. Every day brings new milestones and I wish I could capture them all in record to return to again and again.

Though he has not been here long I cannot imagine life without him. Rory is truly my sunshine and I am overjoyed to be his mommy.



June and July

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Baby Mine

                                                               Rory Martin Vance
                                                      Born April 18, 2013 at 9:07 pm
                                                  Weight: 9 lb 4 oz   Height: 22 inches

Psalm 139:13-16  For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Saturday, February 23, 2013


We have had a relaxing start to the weekend.  Sleeping late, painting the nursery, and friends over for dinner.
Here are some bookmarks to cap off a great Saturday!

I love me some Hawaiian rolls, and with this recipe I can make my own in the bread machine!

These are so cute! And support a great cause! They are also a great way to preserve a memory of a beloved pet.

If you loved fairy tales as a child, you will love this tumblr written for twenty-somethings.

This mommy shares some tips for other first time moms. Her blog is pretty awesome too!

Zachary and I are not sports fanatics so we did not watch the Superbowl this year. I did happen to check out a few of the commercials though. This commercial by Budweiser definitely tugged at my heart strings.....seriously, I was bawling. Also, this one about a farmer and this one by Jeep.

And finally,

My stomach belongs in Cincinnati. I could really go for a Kings Island smurf cone right about now!

Friday, February 22, 2013

The Pregnancy Files

During this pregnancy I have been exposed to other pregnant women, mainly during prenatal classes and while sitting in the OB waiting room. Observing their varied reactions and emotions in regards to their pregnancies, I have come to the realization that most women categorize this time in their lives as either:

1) The most beautiful/wonderful/amazing time in a woman's life. Otherwise known as the eternal optimists of the gestational camp, these ladies walk around with an effervescent glow 24/7 and never complain of aches and pains. Instead they utter such statements as "I have never felt more beautiful" and "I have so much energy, at 28 weeks I ran a 10k and set a new PR". My responses to these affirmations of prenatal bliss are  a) "She is blowing smoke out of her ass", and b)" I'll have some of what she's having!"


2) "This sucks, get this baby out of me!" On this end of the spectrum are the women who see pregnancy as a means to an end. In other words "Every party has a pooper that's why we invited you". Yes, these women look forward to the birth of their children with great anticipation but "do they really have to go through that whole (excruciatingly painful) birth process?" "Can't we just fast forward to the point when the cute, cuddly baby is plopped in my arms?"  Granted, some of the women that fall into this category really do have a bad time of it.  However, most are just whiners. Yes, I am referring to the chick waddling  into the elevator huffing and puffing while holding her back and shooting nasty glares at her husband. To you I shout "AT 18 WEEKS YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET SISTER SO SUCK IT UP! AND STOP YOUR BITCHING...AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!"

As far as what camp I fall into, I'm sure Zach would probably say that I have been a bit cynical (aka whiny and, dare I say, bitchy) during the last 33 weeks. I will admit that I have had my moments of weakness but I feel that I fall into a third, much smaller, category of pregnant women.  We of the third camp don't really see pregnancy as a walk in the park, nor do we think that it is 40 weeks of pure hell. Our view of carrying a baby can be summed up by one word....."Weird".

Isn't it though? At what other time of your life do you experience such an odd array of symptoms/emotions/quirks/etcetera?  Some of these changes can be chocked up as wonderful and others as sucky, but in the end they are all just plain weird.  Dietary changes, inability to control bodily functions, narcolepsy during the day and insomnia at night, strange appendages pounding at the wall of my abdomen. I have either suddenly aged 70+ years or I have become Sigourney Weaver in that Alien movie where the alien baby explodes out of her belly.

Here is a pic of me at 31 weeks.  After posting this on FB, people where kind enough to lie comment that I look "cute, beautiful, and glowing".  I am sorry, but all I see is Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc. The green sweater doesn't help. It is one thing to look at your expanding midsection in the mirror and think "aww, that's kinda cute". Its another thing entirely to have someone take a picture where you can actually see what you look like in your clothes. News flash, you look like a planet with your own gravitational pull.  I'm serious! I currently have two small dogs and a large plate of food orbiting my atmosphere at any given time.

And the cravings. The spur of the moment, sometimes disgusting cravings, that must be satisfied right now or so help me I will die of starvation!!! Sometimes followed immediately by projectile vomiting. I was lucky enough to only experience the nausea and up-chucks during the first 14 weeks. During this time I only wanted to eat one thing....Mac and Cheese. So I did. Every day. Every meal. Thankfully, once the second trimester arrived the nausea left and I was able to expand my diet.  Foods of choice included ramen noodles, cranberry juice cocktail, pita chips dipped in ketchup and lunchmeat sandwiches. Now I am in my third trimester and I crave food........mostly nutella.....on a spoon.

Another odd pregnancy symptom that could be chocked up to the random dietary changes (but most likely stems from raging hormones) is the pregnancy dreams. I am talking bizarre and intense REM acid trips! Here are two of my most recent dream sequences:

1) I go for my 34 week OB appointment only to find out that my OBGYN is Dr. Huckstable (Bill Cosby's character from the Cosby Show).  He tells me that the baby is all ready to be born and that he plans to induce me that evening. Score! We eat Jello and I laugh at his jokes. Then I wake up and realized that I have at least 7 weeks left in my pregnancy, Dr. Huckstable does not work at Bayne Jones Army Community Hospital, and there is no Jello in front of me. Moral to the dream....Reality is a heartless bitch.

2) This one is VERY trippy.  I am part of the zombie apocalypse world in the hit tv series The Walking Dead.  Only instead of belonging to a group of adept zombie killing survivalists I am accompanied by the four ladies of the new TLC series Gypsy Sisters.  You know who I am talking about? Loud with skin bearing rhinestone outfits. Basically the moral of this story is that white trash skanks do not make good zombie hunters. Needless to say this dream did not end well.

All in all, pregnancy has its ups and downs and I feel that I have weathered the storms pretty well.  It has been a very memorable (albeit weird) time and I must say that I do not regret any of it, maybe even loved certain parts of it! In fact, I think i will do it again sometime.  But for now.....GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Puppy Love Lost and Puppy Love Found

When Zach and I first moved down to Louisiana we talked about getting another dog.  Kipper had been in our lives for almost 2 years at that point and we wanted to find her a friend.  Apparently Zachary has always dreamed of owning a German Shepherd. So we did some searching and found a family that was looking for a home for their 4 month old German Shepherd puppy.  Thus Spock entered our lives.  From the get-go it was rough sailing.  Spock was a very sweet, friendly dog but was also extremely stubborn and disobedient.  We tried several different dog training methods but nothing seemed to work.  He soon became an outside dog and, due to our work schedules, neither Zach nor I could give him the time and attention/training that he required.  At this point it became evident that we needed to find him a better home.  We both felt extremely guilty, almost as if we had failed raising a child, but we knew that he needed a different living situation. Luckily we were able to find a couple that was looking for a companion dog for their Husky.  Now Spock has happily found his forever home and from the reports we hear, he is doing well and is very obedient (go figure!).

Two weeks after finding a home for Spock, we decided that we still wanted a second dog.  However, we decided that this time we should adopt a younger puppy from a shelter.

That's when I found Gunter.

 You know common theory of "love at first site"?  Well this was puppy love at first site!  Gunter has been a part of our family for 1 week and things are going  swimmingly (minus that occasional indoor potty mishap).

 Gunter is very sweet, cuddly and playful.  Kipper is experiencing some sibling rivalry but has been very good with the little puppy.  It is so cute when they play together!  Now our family includes two adorable fur-babies (with a not-so-furry baby on the way :).  I am of the opinion that every child should have a pet and I am very excited to watch Rory grow up with his two doggies!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Dear Rory

Dear Rory,

Needless to say, Mommy is a little late jumping on this pregnancy bandwagon.  You were a happy surprise in late July but it was hard for me to really believe 100% that in 9 short months I would be holding my very own baby.  Reality hit me like a brick a few weeks ago when I entered the third trimester.  Not only do I have a globe in place of a midsection, but apparently I have a barrel of monkeys living inside of me. You move around with abandon, throwing punches and kicks as if you aim to be the next Jackie Chan. Yes this can be borderline painful, especially when the attacks are aimed at my spleen, but I happen to find it very endearing . There is something very comforting about your squirminess that makes the warm glow of motherhood wash over me.  I am more happy and excited than ever for your arrival.  Daddy is very excited for your birthday too, although he tries to hide it behind a rough manly demeanor ;) Whenever someone mentions you, a grin spreads across his face and his cheeks turn red. I can tell that he can’t wait to hold his little boy and teach you “manly” things like how shoot a BB gun and how to play video games. He is going to be an amazing Daddy and you are going to be one lucky boy!
As for me, I can only hope and pray that I am the best Mommy I can be.  I am both excited and terrified about your arrival.  But I have heard that motherly tendencies come naturally so I am hoping that basic instincts, accompanied by guidance from your very wise grandmommies, will rule the day. I can’t wait to hold you close, kiss the top of your head, and play with your little fingers and toes.  There is so much that I want to teach you and even more that I want to share with you.  We are going to have many grand adventures!
I love you so much already and that love continues to grow every day.